Fatal Mistake
by xxIceCrystalxx
Summary: Alec didn't think he would die when he went into battle that day. But he did--sort of--and lost the most important thing of all.
1. Chapter 1

The arrow sings through the air, stabbing the demon exactly where Alec had aimed. It shrieks and explodes into dust. He sighed.

There was another demon sparring with Izzy, claws out and teeth dripping poison. She was lashing it with her whip, but it's brushing the blows off as if they were nothing. He nocked another arrow and raised his bow. The demon screeched as it combustsed. "Thanks," Izzy panted, shaking her hair out of her eyes and scanning the landscape for another opponent.

"No prob." A scream sounds in the distance, and a thrill of horror ran through him as he recognized it. _Magnus_! He took off running.

His boyfriend was backed against a ravine, surrounded by shadow-like demons that dissolved into smoke as he shot blue fire at them, and then reformed again. Their long, jagged teeth, the only solid part of them, gleam. "Magnus!" Alec shouted, nocking an arrow and raising the bow in the same movement.

The warlock glanced at him, his gold-green eyes filled with terror. "Alec!" he yelled. "Behind you!"

Alec spun. A blood-red demon was looming over him, hairy jaws parted, poised for the kill.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus Bane sighed and collapsed on his bed. The warlock was a mess. His hair was messy and dull black, and for once he was wearing no rainbow, no sparkles, no tie-dye, no tight leather, just black.

He had just come from Alec's funeral.

He let out a strangled sob as he remembered. The battle had been so fast-paced that didn't remember much. What he did remember was being in trouble, Alec coming to save him but being ambushed, long teeth ripping into pale flesh, bright scarlet blood splattering grass…

He remembered not believing what he had just seen, not believing that Alec was dead, because he _couldn't _be dead, not when they'd had so little time together…

He remembered how the shadow…_thingies _dissapeared suddenly and how he had ran to Alec's side and killed the demon that had took his boyfriend's life. Alec was still breathing when Magnus had reached him. "Don't die!" he had begged, close to sobbing, pulling Alec's head into his lap. "Don't you dare die on me, Alec Lightwood! I love you!" It had amazed him that the words that he had waited so long to say slipped out so easily.

Dying though he was, Alec still managed to lock his gaze onto Magnus's. He remembered how his beautiful blue eyes had shone brighter than the stars. "Magnus," he had whispered, "I love you too." Then his breathing had stilled and his eyes grew staring and glassy.

"NO!" Magnus had screamed through his tears. "No! Alec! Alec, please come back! Alec, please! Don't leave me! Alec--" His words broke off into horrible, heart wrenching sobs. In seven hundred years he had never known this much pain.

He hadn't had time to grieve for his lost lover. There had been more demons to fight, more people who needed his help.

There hadn't even been time to go back for his body.

The tears were coming fast and heavy now. He sobbed and retched, tasting salt on his tongue.

Chairman Meow leaped lightly up onto the bed beside him. He nudged Magnus's leg. "Meow?" he asked, his blue eyes wide and questioning.

"Hey cat," he said thickly, scratching the kitten between his ears. He mewled happily and snuggled into Magnus's leg, purring. "You're lucky," he continued bitterly. "You'll never know what it's like to lose somebody you love." The cat continued to purr.

Suddenly he was exhausted. He leaned back in his bed. _It's cold without Alec here, _he realized with a pang, before sleep crashed over him like a wave.


	3. Chapter 3

_What was happening?_ Alec Lightwood wondered sluggishly. It was like trying to wade through tar. He heard Magnus screaming somewhere in the distance, though he must be close by, judging by the warm presence near him. "Don't you dare die on me, Alec Lightwood!"

_Of course not, _Alec wanted to tell him. _Why would I leave you here without me? _But he couldn't force his lips to move.

"I love you!"

Alec was shocked. It was the first time he had heard Magnus say that out loud. He felt warm all over. Now…he had something else to say…before it was too late…

Suddenly, in perfect focus, he saw Magnus, his clothes splashed with demon blood and his hair hanging into his face. His eyes were full of horror, despair, and something different, something warm and beautiful and unexpected…love.

"Magnus." His voice was soft, barely a whisper of breath past his lips. He was irritated. He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. "I love you too."

Then he was cold. Deathly so. Magnus's tortured screams faded into backround noise. _Wait! _Alec thought, panicking. _Magnus! Where are you? Come back! _He wanted to get to his feet and find him again, but he couldn't move. The cold made him paralyzed. _Am I dead? _He wondered. Somehow he knew he wasn't, not yet.

Then why couldn't he move? He tried to wriggle his fingers. It didn't work.

_Magnus. _His first thought was of the warlock. Surely he would think that Alec was dead. What if he forgot about Alec and moved on? What if he found someone else? The thought was almost too horrible to think about.

Izzy. And his parents. They had only just lost Max, they didn't need to lose him, or think they did anyway.

Jace. His heart ached for his old friend. He knew that Jace would miss him, because Alec would miss him if their places were switched.

Clary, who he'd hated in the beginning, but now felt like a sister. She and Jace would help each other with their grief. The thought comforted him.

Magnus. His thoughts returned him. _I love you, too. _And it was true. He loved the warlock more than life itself. He needed Magnus like he needed air. And he knew that, incredibly, Magnus felt the same way. He remembered how he had felt about Jace. That was stupid, a child's crush. What he felt about Magnus was different. He _loved _him. Loved his erratic fashion sense. Loved sitting next to him and watching the sunset. Loved late night make-out sessions on the couch. Loved curling up beside him at night and listening to his heartbeat as he fell asleep.

There were other things too, smaller things. He loved holding his hand as they walked in the park. Loved lounging on the sofa with Magnus's head in his lap, watching _Comedy Central. _Loved making breakfast in the morning with him and arguing playfully over the proper way to cook eggs. Loved staying up until one a.m. playing endless games of Jenga. And a million other things.

Alec would miss that.

He sighed silently. Gradually he became aware that the sounds of battle had stopped. He wasn't sure how long ago. Was everyone okay? Was _Magnus _okay? The thought that his lover might be lying hurt or dead somewhere was horrifying. But of course he would be okay. He could heal himself. He was a warlock, after all. Alec was just being ridiculous.

The seconds ticked past, frustratingly slow. Could he move yet? Alec tried to wriggle his fingers. It worked! He felt the ground scrape past his flesh. With great effort—too _much _effort—he blinked and pushed himself into a sitting position.

He found himself in a grassy tree-lined clearing with a horrible headache. It felt as if his head was going to split open. Through the haze of pain, he heard running water somewhere behind him. The ravine! He half-scrambled, half-slid down the rocky ledge and drank some of the cool, clear water. It eased his headache a little. Breathing deeply to try to keep from screaming, he made his way back up the ravine wall.

So, this was where he had…died? Gone into a coma? One of the two. It looked so different without demons crowding it. But he didn't pay much attention. He needed to get home, to tell the others he was alright.

He stood shakily, and his legs almost gave out beneath him. He hissed through his teeth and only managed to stay on his feet by sheer willpower. Gritting his teeth, he took a step forward. So far, so good. He took another step and felt his eyes well with tears from the pain.

_Are you a Shadowhunter or not? _He mentally scolded himself. _Get going. It's just a little headache. _

With the thought running through his head over and over again, he began the slow, painful journey home.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was high overhead when Alec reached the Institute. He slumped against the door, exhausted by the small effort of walking…what? A few miles? He blushed.

He got shakily to his feet. Placing a hand on the doorknob, he thought, _I am Alec Lightwood, one of the Nephilim, and I ask entrance to the Institute. _The door stayed stubbornly shut. He frowned. _I am Alec Lightwood—_and yelped with surprise. The doorknob, which had been cool, had suddenly become flaming hot. He hissed in pain. _I didn't realize it would do that! But why—_he bit his lip. Of course, his family thought he was dead, so the security system did too. The only thing left to do was…he sighed, and knocked on the door.

"Coming!" called a sleepy voice from inside the house. He recognized it as Isabelle. He heard her struggling with and cursing at the heavy lock. He had to stifle a smile. Typical Izzy, who couldn't even open a door. But finally she managed and the heavy wooden door swung open. "Hello—" she started, then cut off abruptly and stared.

Alec stared, too. His sister was a mess. Her hair was frizzy and unkempt. Her skin looked like she hadn't washed it in days. Deep shadows hung under her eyes.

Neither sibling spoke for a moment. "I'm home," Alec said finally, in a desperate attempt to break the silence.

Izzy screamed with delight and leaped at her brother. He caught her and only just managed to keep both of them from toppling off the porch. "Hey," he said, wincing. "Careful. Ouch."

"Alec!" Izzy cried, sobbing into his shoulder. "You're alive! I don't believe it!" She hugged him tightly, as though afraid that if she loosened her grip that he would disappear again.

Alec hugged her back. "I missed you," he said, his voice catching. _Dammit, I am _not _going to cry. _But he felt the telltale moisture in his eyes all the same.

Izzy finally stepped back, her eyes shining. "Is it really you?" she whispered.

"It's really me."

"Oh my _gosh_." She hugged him again. "Now, c'mon, we gotta go see Mom and Dad." She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the hallway.

Maryse was sitting on the living room couch with her head down, her shoulders shaking. Robert was sitting next to her with one arm around her, murmuring softly to her. Isabelle made her way over to her mother and whispered something to her. To Alec it sounded like, "Mom, look who's here."

Maryse slowly raised her head. When she spotted her son, she stood, moving towards him as if in a dream. She stopped a few feet away, as if unwilling to believe it was him. "My baby boy," she whispered, raising a hand to touch his face. "Can it really be true?"

"Mom, it's true." Alec said. "I'm here. I'm alive."

And she was hugging him, and he felt like a child again, safe and protected and loved. "Alec," she whispered. "My baby! You're alive! You're alive!" Then Robert and Isabelle were hugging him too, and they all were laughing and crying at the same time, one big happy family. But finally Alec had to break away. "Where's Jace?" he asked.

"Upstairs," Robert answered. "With Clary."

"I'm going to go see them." Alec started up the ancient stone stairs. Isabelle moved as if to follow him, but Maryse held her back.

"Let him go alone." Isabelle looked murderous but didn't answer.

He found Jace sitting on his bed, Clary in his arms. Both of them looked as though they had been crying. "I just can't believe he's gone," Clary sniffled.

"He's not," Alec spoke up.

The looks on their faces were priceless. But finally Clary spoke, her voice trembling. "Alec? Is that you?"

Alec smiled. "The one and only."

He was surrounded by a flurry of red hair. "You're alive!" Clary cried in delight.

"You know you're the fourth person to tell me that today?" Alec asked dryly. "Are you people incapable of thinking of anything more original?" For a second he reminded himself inexplicably of Jace.

Clary pulled back from him. "Sorry," she apologized. "But…you are!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Jace was smiling. "Good to have you back, man."

"Good to be back."

"You guys are _so _cliché!" Clary complained.

Jace laughed. "It's a gift." Clary pretended to slap him. The obvious love between them was heartwarming.

Suddenly Alec was reminded of something else he had wanted to do. "I have to go," he said suddenly.

"So soon?" Clary cried, looking crushed. "You only just got back."

"No, you don't understand." Alec paused with his hand on the door. "I need…" he took a deep breath. "I need to go see Magnus."


	5. Chapter 5

Alec paused in front of the door to Magnus's flat. He bit his lip. The warlock thought he was dead. What would he think when he saw Alec, alive and well? Would he be happy? Shocked? Or…upset? For a moment he was too terrified to move. Then he relaxed. They were in love. Of course Magnus would be glad to see him.

He put his hand on the doorknob. As always, it swung open silently at his touch. He grinned.

"_Alec," Magnus said, waving his hand in the air. "I am sick and tired of having to open the door every time you visit." _

"_So what are you going to do?" Alec asked, laughing. _

"_I," said Magnus triumphantly, "am going to cast a spell." _

"_What?" Alec asked curiously. _

"_A spell," Magnus repeated, "so that the door will open when you want to come in." Magnus grabbed his hand and dragged him to the door. "Try it," he invited. He did. The door immediately swung open. _

"_Wow," Alec said, smiling. He kissed Magnus quickly. "Thanks." _

_Magnus's smile was blinding. "You're welcome."_

Inside the house it was dark and quiet. Alec made his way silently down the massive hallway.

"_Ugh." Alec frowned. "I don't know if I'm ever going to know my way around this place." _

_Magnus laughed and wrapped his arms around Alec's waist. "Of course you will," he vowed. _

"_How do you know?" _

_Magnus smiled mischievously. "Because," he said, kissing him so passionately that Alec almost forgot to breathe. When he finally pulled away, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were sparkling. "All you need to remember is that this…" he grabbed Alec's hand and started dragging him towards one of the many doors, "happens in the bedroom." _

Alec smiled at the memory. That had been, by _far_, one of the _best_ nights of his life.

"Meow."

Alec jumped and spun. Chairman Meow was standing behind him, studying him with deep blue eyes. Alec laughed with relief, dropping to his knees. "Hey there," he said to the kitten. The cat didn't move. "Come here," he crooned. The cat still didn't move. "Fine," Alec sighed. "I give up." He stood again. Suddenly the cat streaked forward, headed to Magnus's room. Alec frowned. "Umm…alright."

He continued on the way to Magnus's bedroom. When he reached it, he suddenly paused, terrified for some unknown reason. _What are you doing? _He thought. _This is _Magnus. _Nothing bad is going to happen. _He pushed open the door.

Magnus was lying on his back in the bed, staring morosely at the ceiling. "Umm…hey Magnus," Alec said awkwardly.

Magnus sat bolt upright, his eyes wide. "Alec?" he gasped. "Is that you?"

"Err…yeah." He took a step forward—

--then dodged as a spear of cobalt flames shot inches past his ear. "Holy shit Magnus!" he yelled. "You could've _killed _me! What the _hell _is your _problem?_"

Magnus's eyes were blazing with fury. "Get out," he growled.

Alec gazed at him, hurt and confused. "But—"

"Get. Out. _Now._" Magnus snarled. "Or next time I _won't miss._"

"Magnus—"

"_Alec_! _Leave_!_ You're not welcome here_!" Alec had no choice but to run for the exit as Magnus shot another spear of flame at him.

Alec was gasping for breath when he finally managed to get outside. Sobbing uncontrollably, he leaned against the wall.

Over and over while he was unconscious, he had imagined his reunion with Magnus. He had imagined Magnus being shocked, ecstatic, amazed. But what had happened—Magnus screaming at him hysterically to get out, trying to hurt him, trying to _kill _him, was far from what he had imagined.

Not once had he imagined that Magnus wouldn't be glad to see him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the long wait! Please don't hurt me!**

Magnus fell to his knees as soon as Alec slammed the door. He clutched as his pale shirt, mentally cursing himself.

He didn't know what had just happened. As soon as he saw Alec, something inside him had just…_snapped_. All the frustration and grief he had been experiencing for the past week had come spilling over. He had actually tried to _kill _Alec. He didn't believe he could even _think _of such a thing. Actually _acting _on the impulse was horrifying to him.

_Alec! Go away! You're not welcome here!_

His parting words echoed in his head. He remembered how Alec's gorgeous eyes had widened with hurt and disbelief. He remembered how utterly, heartbreakingly _beautiful _he looked just before he fled.

But…maybe it was better this way. Magnus was immortal, living forever, never changing. Alec…wasn't. He would grow old. He would die someday. Then Magnus would have to live the rest of his immortal life without him. If he ended things now, it might not be so painful when the inevitable happened.

Somewhere inside he knew that he was just trying to fool himself.

He sighed. Maybe the Book of White would distract him for a while. He got to his feet and wandered around for a while, trying to remember where he had placed the spell book. _I need Alec here, _he thought despairingly.

But he did manage to find it eventually (in the _dishwasher _of all places, he couldn't quite figure out how it had gotten there) and settled down on the couch to read it. He opened to a random page and read the heading.

_A Spell for Immortality. _

He scowled. Okay, fate must _really _be pissed at him today.

Chairman Meow pounced up beside him, eyes pleading to be scratched. "Go away," he snarled at him. The cat hissed and ran off to sulk.

Magnus frowned. "Great," he said to thin air, "now I've managed to piss off _everyone _I care about." He paused. "And now I'm talking to myself." He scowled and stood, casting the spell book aside. "I need to take a walk," he muttered to himself. He grabbed his coat and slammed the door shut behind him.

The day was cold and dreary, a reflection of his mood. Not having any particular destination in mind, he started walking.

Maybe half an hour had passed before he realized that he had somehow managed to get himself hopelessly lost. He swore under his breath as he gazed at his unfamiliar surroundings. Even though he had lived in the city for who knows how long, he still didn't quite know his way around. He took a deep breath, trying to reign in the desperation that was threatening to overwhelm him.

_Okay, pull yourself together. You got lost. It happens all the time. _

He glared down the street. He could try a location spell, but he didn't have the things he needed.

_Shit. _

Groaning inwardly, he started back the way he had come.

Suddenly he paused. He recognized the huge gothic church in front of him.

The Institute.

He started uncertainly at the huge building. Alec was in there.

"Gerroff me!"

His gaze snapped to one of the immense yawning windows. He recognized it as the one of the armory. The cry had come from there. It sounded like…Alec?

Alec stumbled into view, laughing and trying to fend someone off with a dagger. He tripped backward and stumbled, still laughing.

Within seconds another person had leaped in front of the window, a boy with golden hair and matching eyes, wielding another dagger. "Do you surrender?" Jace yelled.

"Yes!" Alec cried, breathless with laughter. "Come on, Jace, leave me alone." He shoved the other boy backward.

Magnus lowered his gaze. So Alec seemed to be getting along just fine without him. Feeling thoroughly miserable, he sighed and started home.


End file.
